Urban Pulse Magazine

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to shrink—to take up less space, speak more softly, want less, and apologize more. We learned that being “too much” could cost us love, acceptance, or safety. So we adapted.

But shrinking yourself is not humility. It’s survival. And you no longer need to live in survival mode.

What It Means to Shrink Yourself

Shrinking yourself doesn’t always look obvious. Sometimes it looks like:

• Staying silent to avoid conflict
• Downplaying your achievements
• Making yourself smaller so others feel comfortable
• Overexplaining or apologizing excessively
• Saying yes when you want to say no
• Hiding your needs, opinions, or emotions

Over time, shrinking becomes automatic—and exhausting.

Where Shrinking Comes From

Many people learn to shrink because they were taught their emotions were “too much,” grew up in environments where self-expression wasn’t safe, or learned that love was conditional. Shrinking was a form of protection—it helped you survive.

What protected you then may be limiting you now.

The Cost of Making Yourself Smaller

When you constantly shrink, you may begin to feel invisible, resentful, disconnected from yourself, emotionally drained, anxious, or unheard. The most painful part is abandoning yourself before anyone else can.

You Are Not “Too Much”

You are not too loud. You are not too sensitive. You are not too emotional. You are not too needy. Your feelings, needs, and boundaries are not flaws—they are information.

How to Stop Shrinking Yourself

1. Notice When You Hold BackPay attention to moments when you want to speak but don’t. Awareness is the first step.

2. Practice Taking Up SpaceStart small—share your opinion, ask for what you need, and allow yourself to be seen.

3. Release the Need to Be LikedNot everyone will be comfortable with the real you—and that’s okay.

4. Set Boundaries Without GuiltBoundaries are not rude. They are self-respect in action.

5. Reconnect With Your VoiceYour voice matters. Your truth matters. You don’t need permission to exist fully.

Taking Up Space Is Not Selfish

Taking up space doesn’t mean dominating others—it means honoring yourself. The right people won’t ask you to shrink. They’ll meet you where you stand.

Final Thoughts

You were never meant to be small. Stop shrinking yourself to fit places that can’t hold you. Expand into who you are becoming—you deserve to be seen fully.

💬 Join the Conversation

In what ways have you found yourself shrinking? What would it look like to take up more space in your life? Share your thoughts in the comments below.